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Some of my semi-old poems

These are just some random poems I came across on my MySpace that I haven't thought about in awhile...
Tell me what you think please!

Heaven's Betrothed
Girl with the freeing laughter -
Well, she doesn't know what she's missing.
Feels so safe when the world goes black...
Never wants to come back, back, back
Slamming back to imperfect reality.
She'll go under again.
Her Father, he cries.
"I died for you!" He screams in anguish –
Reaching, reaching for His beautiful girl.
But she's too busy hiding from the world
to hear his cries.
And these lies –
These lies that keep them apart.
"You're not good enough!" shouts the one we despise.
He beats her down and holds her there,
And she's gasping, gasping for air.
He stands between them, a wedge in her heart.
Her Father, He begs.
He begs her to fight,
To turn on the light.
It's all up to her,
The ball's in her court.
He's left her the choice, to love Him – or no.
But will she go?
A decision, yet to be made.



Cold as ice, but warm-
Warm as summer rain.
This temperature confusion,
It's messing with my brain.

What's up with the hostility
Surrounding me each day?
I don't know where it's coming from,
I pray it goes away.

Why is it though I try so hard,
You occupy my mind?
It isn't very kind of you,
Since I was left behind.

Your little random noises,
Your little random calls,
Each time I come back up from one,
It's another and I fall.

So back in my pit of wondering,
Of hope, despair, and doubt...
I wonder this time how long it'll be
Before I get back out?

And how long back in reality
It is before you look at me
And I stumble fitfully?
(You don't know what you mean to me.)


Let let me in
Soul soul catcher
Caught bought
Fought you off of my mind, fought you off my
Mind map
What's that?
Why's that? How's that going? How's that go?
No No No
Mailbox foxtail
catty bratty brat
Fizz Miss Lizz, bubble over boil over
Break through the top
hot hot hot
You love her, I love you
This just simply will not do.

Breaking Dawn Review *SPOILER ALERT*


Let me just start out with this: I loved this book.

As a new but avid fan of the Twilight series, I thought this was a great way to end it and tie up all the loose ends.  Renesmee solved a lot of problems - Edward got to be a daddy, Bella didn't miss out on anything "human", and Jacob got his true love, but was still tied to Bella through her.  Now I know many peope said it was too fairy tale and happy ending and all that, but what did you expect?  It's YA.  Most YA books end with either learning a life changing lesson, a happy ending, or usually both.

Rosalie's role in the book was fantastic.  I love that she was brought in more, where she hadn't played that much of a role in the other books.  Most people that I've read hate Rosalie for her role in this book, but as a very serious pro-lifer, it only helps me to respect her even more.  Most people will say that she doesn't care about Bella's life at all, that she's just using her as an incubator for little Nessie, and even though this is partly true, I don't think that that's really the full explanation.

Put yourself in Rosalie's shoes.  All you ever wanted from life was to be a mother, but the chance was taken away from you.  Now you have to live forever without any hope of ever reaching your one goal.  And then your brother's wife calls telling you that she's pregnant, and that she needs your help protecting her baby from a forced abortion.  The thoughts that I think were running through Rosalie's head at this point in time were, "A baby?  There will be a baby in the house.  This has to happen......  I know if I was pregnant, I wouldn't want ANYONE coming near my baby with anything harmful.... I'm going to help Bella out."  You may disagree, but I really think some of what Rosalie did was good intentions for Bella, even though that's definitely not all of it.  BD made me like and respect Rosalie more.

As for Jacob imprinting on Renesmee...  I didn't see it coming.  I, like Bella was expecting a litte EJ to come along...  The green-eyed boy of her dreams.  I was so caught up in what was going on with Bella when we found out that it was a little girl, not a boy, that I didn't even have time to think about the implications of what could go on.  So what do I think bout it?  I'm thrilled.  It makes sense that since Bella and Jacob almost fit together, like 2 nearly matched puzzle pieces, that he would fall in love with someone who is part Bella.  Definitely weird, but whatever.  Every family has its drama...  The Cullen family just happens to have more than most.

Do I think the whole vamp/human hybrid thing was a bit far-fetched?  Of course it's far-fetched!  But what else did you expect?  When you're reading a book about vampires and werewolves you should never complain about how "out there" it gets.  This is a fairy tale about super-natural creatures.  Oddities are to be expected.  Who would've known we'd be blessed with an oddity like little Renesmee?  And yes, the name is weird.  But so is the kid...  I think a half vampire half human deserves a unique name.  It's not so bad once you get used to it.  Cute even.

To tie this all together, I'd like to say that Stephenie Meyer is an amazing YA fiction writer.  She stayed within the genre she started out in, so I don't think she should be penalized for that.  I love the whole series, it's an excellent twist on the Romeo and Juliet star-crossed lovers story.  I've loved every minute of it, and I can't wait till Midnight Sun comes out to get Edward's take on things.  I'll miss Bella, Edward, Jacob, Alice, and everyone else, and I hope they have a wonderful happily ever after.

Plight of the Smalltown Whiz Kid

I want to be a missionary.
I want to be a journalist.
I want to be a wife.
I want to be in creative advertising.
I want to be a mother.

Some of these conflict, and I'm not sure how to reconcile them.  I probably can't.  Some of them I can, but not all of them...  I'm trying to figure out how.  It's just tough being a smart girl in a small town, inexperienced with dealing with "gifted" kids.

Don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not the one to toot my own horn on the whole intelligence issue.  It's just something that I deal with on a day to day basis... I'm the "smart girl", the "gifted" one, the Great White Hope of our high school, that I'll be the first National Merit Scholar thingy, and all that jazz.  A nerd girl.  And they are not good at dealing with above-average students.  It's not what they do.

An example: I wanted to take a few online classes, some that my school doesn't offer... Maybe get a little ahead.  They wouldn't let me do it.  They said only students who had failed classes could make up their classes online, but you couldn't just take some to get ahead.  How ridiculous is that?  We only help the kids that AREN'T doing well in school.  The ones who ARE doing well, well screw them.  They bring up our test scores, and we just kinda let them go by...  It's fine.

I'm sick of it.  I WANT OUT.  And the thing that sucks is...  One of the top journalism schools in the country is right here in my home state of Misery.  (That's Missouri, for those of you who are lucky enough to have never lived here.)  All I want is out, to go to school in Boston or New York or maybe Connecticut.  Somewhere on the East Coast.  And it turns out that maybe the best thing for me is to stay right here in the good ole Midwest.  Ugh.